Friday, October 4, 2013

31 Days of Newlyweds - Communication

Okay, so sometimes I assume things.  More than sometimes.  I am often the one who believes her ideas are the most obvious, most sensible, so therefore everyone else should CLEARLY see this without her having to explain.  Assumptions.

I've been doing a lot of assuming lately, and as the saying goes, I've been making an ass out of myself and my husband at the same time. 

When you get married you tend to think that the other person, since [hopefully] they know you better than anyone else in the world, will always understand what you want and need without you saying anything.  That holds true some of the time.  Mr. Firefighter will rub my shoulders when he can tell I'm tense or stressed, and I know that some days I should go ahead and pour his bourbon and coke when I hear him pull in the driveway.

But the rest of the time?  We need to talk to each other.  We need to explain our feelings/experience/mindset/etc. in order for the other person to know what's going on.  99% of our arguments, big and small, happen because we are assuming the other person knows or understands something that they don't. 

I was reminded today that a store I used to work at opened every day with a "5 Minute Chat."  That seems to be a really good idea for a marriage as well, no matter how new or old.  Take five minutes and talk about your days, your current moods, and what you want to do with the rest of the day or night.  Slowing down and taking the time to do this prevents countless miscommunications and misunderstandings.

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