Sunday, June 20, 2010

Semi-Downer Fathers' Day Post

Being an only child, I had the luxury of being able to be both a Mama's girl and a Daddy's girl, and both those loyalties became more pronounced after they divorced when I was in elementary school. Before the divorce, Daddy worked a lot and Mama worked part time at the hospital on weekends, so during my free time I was usually at my grandparents' or great-grandparents' houses.

After the divorce, Mama went back to working during the week so I saw her more and I had assigned times to do things with Daddy so I was able to see him a lot more, too. I became a lot closer to both of my parents. Mama and I had always gone on weekend trips to the beach and things like that, but now I was able to go on THREE vacations with Daddy every summer, plus one during Christmas break. He always took me somewhere he knew I'd love, and he and I got much much closer during all of those trips.

My last trip with him was to Gatlinburg during Christmas break of my freshman year of college. I lost my Daddy two months later. Losing a parent at 19 is something I would never have imagined would happen to me, nor is it something I would want anyone else to experience. It's very difficult to talk about him now since it's just me and Mama, and, well, they were divorced. It's a constant struggle to remember Daddy without getting upset and angry that he's gone. He will never meet Mr. Preppy, never see me graduate from college, never walk me down the aisle, never play with his grandchildren... he will miss those most important moments and I will miss out on something special without him there.

So for those of you who occasionally get angry at your father and go for a few days without talking to him, just think about what would happen if he was no longer an active part of your life. What if you didn't make the choice not to talk to him, but were simply unable to? Be grateful for what you have.

Sorry this is a downer post but I've heard several people taking their parents for granted lately, and today of all days we should simply give thanks for whoever fills those roles in our lives, be it stepparents, grandparents, Godparents (in my case, Daddy's best friend is my Godfather), family friends, WHOEVER.

I hope all of you enjoyed your Fathers' Day.

3 comments:

  1. That was absolutely beautiful, and I am so sorry for your loss. You know your Daddy is up in Heaven looking down smiling at what a beautiful, gracious daughter he has and what a wonderful guy she has in her life.

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  2. This is such a wonderful post! I'm so sorry for your loss...but I just know that your father is looking down at you and is so proud of you :).

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